Truth be told, I am not sure I ever really appreciated exactly just what I was getting myself into. After all, I knew I was headed off for a “once in a lifetime opportunity,” but only when a person actually faces a situation, not simply the idea of it, does true enlightenment brighten the dark recesses of an otherwise ignorant mind.
So flying over Iraq looking down at Bagdad (yes, THAT Baghdad), the Wizard of Oz’s fair-haired heroine’s trite utterance somehow suddenly seemed completely un-corny. In fact, Dorothy’s clichéd observance, “Toto, I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore,” hit me like a ton of yellow bricks left over from the construction of that pedestrian superhighway built to go from Kansas to the Emerald City.
It was at that moment when I glanced at my in-flight magazine (my intention was to find a video to take my mind off my ever growing anxieties but fate, it seemed, had other plans for me) when the pages fell open to Lufthansa’s very impressive worldwide route map. It was only then when I fully came to terms with the scope and grandeur of my predicament.
I thought to my self, “Idiot it’s called the Middle East because it’s in the middle of the damn map.” Mr. Rand McNally had made this part of the world the geographical equivalent of the bull’s-eye on a dartboard. Just about everything I had ever known or loved was far, far away on the other side of the world, what would have been the furthermost outer ring (the area of the board most of the darts I throw seem to always find).
So for the first time in my life that I can truly remember, I felt completely alone. It was just me, myself and I now, and in keeping with my newly minted resolutions, in this case the one to be more honest with everyone, including myself. I had to admit that I was more scared than excited, more filled with worry rather than wonderment, and concerned for the first time since this whole thing began if I really was making the right decision…
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